Each New Year’s eve, we create a list of resolutions and promises to ourselves. Some people promise themselves to eat healthy and eat less fat. Some focus on spending quality time with their family. Others plan to pursue their passion. To finally fulfill the desires burning inside them.
But most times, we find ourselves unable to stick to the routine or timetable we had planned out for the new year. The lives we lead are already quite tough and hectic. No matter how hard we try, we are often find ourselves unable to stay committed to our new routine.
This is why 92% of all New Years Resolutions fail.
But that does not mean that you should give up on setting goals.
Goals are an important part of our success. Goals move us forward into better versions of ourselves. Goals motivate us to do the hard things in life. Goals allow us to focus our attention and energy in ways that can make the most impact.
Our goals are the secret longings of our hearts. They lead us into becoming more fully the people we are meant to be.
So here’s what you can do to be successful in your goal setting efforts. Here are three ways you can avoid the most common goal setting mistakes:
The key is not to immediately commit yourself to a whole new routine. The habits that we have adopted have taken years to develop. These habits are not changed in a matter of a week or a month for that matter.
If your goal is to lose 10lbs and you commit yourself to exercising daily for at least half an hour, going for a walk in the evening and eat less at every meal, you will quickly become overwhelmed and frustrated. You may start doing all three activities at the beginning of the year. But you might tire of one activity or become inconsistent. This inconsistent routine will not create your desired weight loss. Thus you can lose your motivation real fast because you are working hard but not seeing results.
The secret is in taking it slow. Develop a positive momentum and go easy on yourself can ensure that you stick to your routine in the long run.
Pick just one of those activities to help you with your weight loss goal. Do that activity consistently and track your progress. Then after 1-2 weeks of consistently performing your first healthy habit, add in another. This gradual process will build healthy habits, keep you motivated, and produce permanent results.
Your hectic work routine might become an obstacle to achieving your goal. You might be working late on the weekend and have to skip the evening walk. Or you might be eating out all week with friends which will ruin the ”eat less” plan. It can be hard to say no to friends or pending work.
Yet, you can plan for your success by practicing flexible thinking. Perhaps you want to adjust your walk time on the weekends. Or maybe you include one splurge meal in your weekly eating plan.
Expect there to be obstacles to your goal. Keep your eyes on your goal, but remain flexible in your approach. This enables you to stay focused on your goal and achieve results regardless of the ups and downs of your day or week.
To transform your new year’s resolution into reality, you need to measure your success. How will you know when you have achieved your goal? What significant milestones will there be along the way? How will you celebrate each milestone and goal achieved?
For each goal, there are lots of potential pays you could measure your success. For you fitness goal, you could measure: lbs lost, inches lost, BMI, %body fat, speed, muscle endurance, cardiovascular endurance. You pick the form of measurement that fits best with your goal. Just make sure that it’s easy to watch and commit to tracking it daily.
Also commit to celebrating all the small wins you will achieve on your way to your completed goal. After every small feat you achieve, give yourself a planned reward. Make sure that the reward is in line with your goal. The reward is a way of thanking yourself for doing the hard work to achieve your goal. Expressing gratitude for the results will keep you motivated and effective.
People who are the highest achievers have figured out how to effectively set and achieve goals in ALL areas of their lives.
I believe in you. I know you have what it takes.
But, if you’re not careful you could easily fall into the many traps that prevent most people from reaching their goal.
High achievers are able to avoid the common traps that keep most people stuck and frustrated. High achievers effectively design a life that reflects their own personalized vision of success.
Discover the “success secrets” that distinguish high achievers from most people. My webinar “Make 2017 Your Best Year Ever!” will reveal three specific success secrets to fuel your goal setting efforts. Registration for the webinar is free, but space is limited. Reserve your seat today!
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson
A year from now you can be living out the dreams you have carried with you all these years.
Here’s to you and your success in creating your new beginning…. Cheers!
Discovering and developing your talents is your key to freedom, success, and happiness. Developing your talents may or may not include formal schooling. Sometimes your career will be the manifestation of your life’s purpose. Other times your career may be the vehicle that supports your ability to do your life’s work. Either way, a meaningful and successful life is dependent upon celebrating your talents.
Celebrating your talents involves reconnecting with your innate curiosity, interests, and abilities. It also includes designing a plan to nurture these talents. But how do you identify your innate curiosity, interests, and abilities?
For people still grappling with identifying your specific talents, this article can guide your self-discovery process. Learning and self-discovery is a iterative process; so you need not know all the answers now. The questions and interests that you identify now will lead you along a path. As you proceed on that path, you will identify even more questions and interests.
Isn’t it exciting to know that this process of discovery and growth continues throughout your entire lifetime?
Once you learn how to ask yourself the right questions, you never have to worry about being bored or retiring from life. Connecting with your inner fire and curiosity will fuel your productivity, energy, and growth. Activating these resources will make you a life-long learner and contributor to our world.
The quality of any relationship is based on the quality of the conversations that occur within that relationship. In my coaching practice, I support my clients in improving the quality of the conversations (and thus the relationship) they have with themselves.
So how do you improve the quality of conversations with yourself? Simple. By asking more powerful questions of yourself.
Questions are more powerful than answers as they open up a dialouges and invite new ways of seeing the world.
A good answer can do the same thing because good answers also contain more questions. Unfortunately, our model of schooling often teaches us that answers close the dialogue. We are taught that there’s no more need to raise a question because “we already know”. This shuts down curiousity and is the opposite of learning.
In both my personal and professional life, my focus has been on asking better questions. I’ve found that the right question can fully activate our whole being, mind and body. Asking myself the right questions gives me energy to sustain my process of growth and discovery.
Below I’ve listed some powerful questions that can help you discover your unique gifts and abilities. These gifts are the basis of your contribution to our world. Thus, it’s important for us all that you discover, develop, and share your talents.
I urge you to write down your answers so that you can more clearly see patterns in your responses. These patterns are your clues to discovering the talents and interests that may have been suppressed by the expectations of others. You owe it to yourself to identify your unique gifts and share them with the world.
Grab your journal and ask yourself the following powerful questions:
Whether they gave you messages of encouragement or discouragement, the feedback from these people was more about them than it was about you. In the spiritual book The Four Agreements, we’re advised not to take anything personally. This is because people’s responses to you are actually their responses to projections of themselves. Even messages that seem discouraging or critical may have been grounded in love. A father may discourage you from pursuing a career as a dancer because he is concerned about your ability to become self-sufficient in that career. His comments are products of his worldview, his fear, and his love for you.
The purpose of this activity is not to judge others for the way that have or are currently responding to your life dreams. It is only to allow you to see that their responses do not have to shape how you respond to yourself. You have the power to choose to honor your dreams and decide how you want to nurture your talents.
Now you can more clearly see what you admire about yourself and what you desire in your dream job and life. You can distinguish your own desires from those of your loved ones. You are prepared to take responsibility for your dreams and begin making them a reality.
If you’d like additional support in building a life that engages your talents in fulfilling your life purpose, sign up for my free Life Planning Tool and for an advanced order of my upcoming book Your Life as a Celebration.
Each day is an opportunity to make a change, to shift direction, to come a little closer to the desires of your heart. This is accomplished by identifying your unique gifts and committing to develop them on a daily basis. Do it for yourself!
Comment below some of your unique gifts as well as how you plan to nurture these abilities.
Your environment has a tremendous impact on how you feel and what you are able to accomplish in your life. Your environment is an external reflection of your internal state. What does your environment say about you? Is your desk cluttered and disorganized? Is your house filled with projects left undone? These environmental cues suggest a difficulty with prioritization and focus. To achieve your goals, you must structure your environment to support your efforts.
Your current environment supports your current life. To create new possibilities for yourself, you must create a new environment. The good news is that you have the ability to recreate your environment. You can choose to create an environment that supports your life purpose and goals. Discover valuable tools to help your restructure your environment to support your goals.
There is a strong connection between our external environment and our internal state. Here are some improvements you can make to your physical environment to improve your productivity.
Companies spend such much money on marketing and advertising because they know it works. We respond to subtle cues in our environment that bypass our conscious mind. Yet these sub-concious cues still influence our behavior.
You can use this information to your advantage by programming your subconscious mind through visual cues. These visual cues are a constant reminder to focus on your goals. They speak directly to your subconscious and motivate your behavior. Broadcasting intentional messages to yourself, engages your unconscious mind in producing your goals.
A vision board is a great way to communicate your life goals to your subconscious mind. When you have a clear picture of what you want in life, then you can start to attract it. A vision board is a collection of images, words and photos that represent the things you want to have, be, or do in life.
If you don’t already have a vision board, create one immediately. It’s quite simple. Grab a poster board, glue, pictures, old magazines, cut-out pictures, drawings, writing, and any arts & craft supplies you enjoy. Paste them to your board in any order that is appealing to you. It’s fun to do this activity with friends, so invite a few over and create your vision boards together.
Once you have your vision board, make sure to prominently display it where you will see it often. I display my vision board on my bedroom wall. It is the first thing that I see in the morning and the last thing that I see at night. When these images enter your mind regularly, you’ll be amazed how quickly they will become your reality. Our dreams and goals change often, so update your board often!
Affirming our connection to nature is an easy way to improve our health, well-being, and productivity. As I “city girl” , I enjoy the fast-paced energy of densely packed streets with tall concrete buildings. Yet, I know that we all need some greenery to promote reconnection and restoration.
The physical and emotional benefits of spending time in nature are well documented. In my article on sensory walks, I review some of the cutting edge research on nature’s impact on our health. Spending time in nature increases our immune functioning, productivity, and creativity. You can bring these benefits into your home by adding potted plants to your home and office spaces.
Make life easier for yourself, add greenery to your work environment and watch your performance improve.
Besides providing us with clean, fresh air, potted plants also help us to be more motivated and productive. Research in the UK and Netherlands showed that adding potted plants to offices increased workers’ productivity by fifteen percent. Other research shows that working around potted plants helps to improve concentration and memory by twenty percent. Thus, adding potted plants to your regular working locations improves the quantity and quality of your work. Also, consider working outside in nature as much as possible.
Can clearing off your desk, really clear your mind? Yes. My mind can not rest when I am bombarded with all the visual reminders of everything that need to be completed. Productivity author and coach, David Allen refers to these as “open loops” and suggests that they are major source of stress in our life.
An open loop is “anything pulling at your attention that doesn’t belong where it is, the way it is”. This could be an unfinished craft project covering the dining room table. It could be a pile of papers on the desk because they are important and you don’t want to forget. Stress comes from having too many of these open loops and not having an effective system to capture and manage them. Clutter is a crude way of reminding ourselves because we don’t have an effective system that we trust.
The secret to managing our energy and productivity is to eradicate the unfinished loops. We either commit to completing the task right then or we plan a time when we will complete the task. This allows us to put the visual reminder away and removes the stress and energy drain. If you need help creating an effective system of capturing and planning all the personal and work tasks you have, I recommend reading David Allen’s book Getting Things Done. It’s a comprehensive system that will allow your mind to rest because you now can manage all your necessary tasks. It will also help you make and keep your environment clutter free.
Environment is not limited to our physical environment. It also includes our human environment, the people we interact with on a regular basis as well. Your human environment plays a huge role in your behavior and expectations for yourself.
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said that we are a product of the five people we spend the most time with. Our weight is the average of these five close friends. Our level of happiness is the average o these five close friends. Daniel Goleman’s book Social Intelligence presents research documenting people’s influence on us. The people we are emotionally closest to and interact with on a regular basis have a tremendous impact on our neurological wiring and health.
Consider your current human environment and assess how well it supports your life purpose and goals?
Here are two simple steps you can take to improve your human environment.
One easy way to improve your life, is to become closer to people who reflect the kind of life you want to live. If you value travel and see yourself traveling all over the world, you need friends with an active passport as well. They will reinforce and support your goal of international travel.
As you mature, you will develop new goals and dreams for yourself. You may notice that some of those values and habits are not in your current circle of friends. By being open to making new friends, you increase your stream of new information and habits.
Of course, you need to be selective of who you invite into your friendship circle. Make sure they are congruent with your life purpose and core values. But, they do not need to be like your current group of friends. In fact, they may be quite different. This is great because interacting with them will allow you to develop new parts of yourself and see yourself in new ways.
Improving your human environment does not mean totally replacing the current people you spend time with. You can improve the quality of your current relationships by upgrading the quality of your conversations.
What do you and your friends spend most of your time talking about? Your problems? Other people? Celebrities? It’s fine to spend some time discussing these topics, but they shouldn’t be the mainstay of your conversations. Remember, what you focus on gets magnified.
Reshape your human environment to better support your dreams, by changing your conversations with close friends and family. Use these times to talk about your life purpose and how you are putting that into action in your daily life. Ask them about their goals and how they are fulfilling their life purpose. Ask how you might be able to support them in the process.
The quality of your conversations determines the quality of your relationships. By upgrading your conversations with your close friends and family, it’s easier for you (and them) to take action on your life goals.
How are you going to restructure your environment to support your dreams? Share your thoughts below as well as other strategies that have worked for you. Support yourself and your dreams today!
Is perfectionism robbing you of your dreams? Do you have a dream of doing something that you you have yet to begin? Are you waiting for the perfect opportunity to pursue your dream? Are you waiting for your skills, ability, and confidence to be at 100% before you begin?
Waiting on perfection gives you 100% certainty that you will never achieve your goal. Here, I share some helpful techniques to free you and your dreams from the trap of perfectionism.
You can’t wait for change to happen. You must get involved in continuous intentional action if you want to produce the change you seek. Stop waiting on your ship to come. Stop waiting to hit the lottery. Stop waiting for the approval of others. Stop waiting to be a certain age or a certain size before you go after your dreams. Stop waiting.
These dreams were invested in you because you have the ability to bring them into fruition. You don’t need the approval of others. You don’t have to wait for them to see or catch your vision. It is not their vision and they might never see it until you bring it into reality.
It is your responsibility to act on your dreams, no one else’s. You can use the support of others, but you do not need their permission. This is your life and it will produce what you believe about yourself and your world.
You are a vessel for a dream. It lives in you. It shines through your eyes. You are responsible for letting it out.
There are so many people waiting for the “right time” to make a change. Basically, they are waiting for a time when they think they can make the change comfortably. When my kids are older…when I have more money….when I retire.
Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. All we have is today. Today is your opportunity to begin investing in your dreams. Today is your chance to use your gifts to operate in your life purpose.
You can not change the past and you do not know your future. Yet, if you fully use the opportunities you have available to you in the present, you will experience happiness and meaning today.
You can create a series of meaningful and happy days which build a life of meaning, purpose, and joy. But you do not start building that life tomorrow, you begin now. The present is the greatest gift you will ever receive, accept it with gratitude and use it wisely.
Perfection demands that we see and know all the details of how we will accomplish our goals before we are willing to begin. Faith means being clear on our purpose and trusting that we will receive all we need as we embark on the journey.
All stories of epic journeys show the hero beginning the journey without the necessary ingredients to complete the quest. Yet the hero is clear on the mission and determined to fulfill it. Through the adventure, the hero meets people, gains the tools and knowledge needed to accomplish the goal. These resources are acquired in the process of the adventure, not before.
You are the hero of your own story. There is a quest that is specifically charged to you. Your quest is the substance of your dreams. You do not have all the resources you need now to complete the quest, but you will gain them through the journey. That is what makes it an epic story.
You will be so much stronger, wiser, better as a result of your journey. But you can not wait until you are stronger, wiser, better, to begin. You must start now.
Now is the perfect time to begin the journey. You are the perfect person to complete the journey. No matter how messed up your life looks like now, you are the perfect hero.
Heroes are not without flaws or challenges. In fact, it’s their flaws and challenges that make for a compelling story. These are the elements of tension in the story that make it exciting to read. These are the qualities that endear us to our heroes. It allows us to rejoice so enthusiastically when our hero wins.
Own your hero story. Do not allow the challenges of your current situation to convince you that you are not the person or that this is not the time. These current challenges will make the story of your journey exciting and inspirational to others when they hear it. We will all rejoice together as you complete your epic quest.
There is always something that can be done to move you closer to your dreams. Instead of waiting, commit to starting now. What can you do today that is a tangible investment in accomplishing your dream?
If your dream is starting your own business, that one step could be buying a book on entrepreneurship. Or it could be committing to saving 20% of your income to fund your business. It could also be downloading sample business plans for your industry. You get the point. Write it down and then do it.
As you put your dreams into motion, ask yourself how you can expand on the activity you’ve already done. Continually ask yourself, “what’s next?”
You do not have to have the entire plan laid out before you begin. As you start acting on your dreams, your needs and your opportunities will become more clear. Develop a regular habit of staying engaged in daily action toward your dreams.
Each day is an opportunity to steer yourself in the direction of your goal. To come closer and closer to the desires of your heart.
Think of your activity as small, masterful bootstrapping. You are in continual movement toward your goal. As you get closer, the next steps will become clearer.
I want you to build such momentum for your dream that when opportunity comes, you are already running to meet it.
It is completely possible for one small spark of action done on one completely ordinary day to totally alter the shape of everything that follows. Take advantage of this possibility for your life. Commit to daily action combined with the intention of achieving your dream. If you commit to building this daily momentum, your dream can become your life!
I wish you great success in your hero’s journey. I know that you are able to complete your task if you are willing to begin and to maintain your daily action.
You have the ability to make your tomorrow happy; start today!
It always seems impossible until it’s done. – Nelson Mandela
Have you ever had someone refer to you as a “dreamer”? Was that intended to be a compliment?
Many times people speak about dreamers as if that is something negative. They seem to imply that you should give up your dreams and live in the “real world.” Yet everything in our “real world” existed first only in the dreams of someone.
Google is well known for being on the cutting edge of technology and creating the tools and ideas of our future. Astro Teller, Captain of Moonshots for Google X, shares how Google produces such innovation. The company creates a team that encourages people to develop moonshot projects.
Moonshots are experimental projects focusing on solving some of the world’s biggest challenges. The moonshots team dream up bold ideas to solve these pressing social problems. Then they works to turn today’s moonshot dreams into the realities of tomorrow. In his Ted Talk, Astro Teller identifies four habits contributing to the success of moonshot projects.
I’d like to share how you can incorporate Google’s secrets of success into your life. By practicing the habits of the Moonshot team, you too can bring your bold dreams into reality.
Dreams are what allow us to create a better future for ourselves and our world. Dreams inspire us to reach beyond ourselves and accomplish more than we have thus far. In fact, dreams promote our personal growth. This is because we often have to learn new skills or habits to fulfill our dreams. Honoring the soft whispers of our hearts is the first step in cultivating a life of greatness.
Our dreams are deeply personal to us. They are the specific longings of our souls and they compel us to explore, learn, and grow. You owe it to yourself and to our world to develop your dreams. They are the vehicle through which you make your unique contribution to our world.
It may not materialize the way you expect; dreams rarely do. But the journey of pursuing your dreams will grow you into the person you are meant to be. It will fill your life with joy and meaning. It will create a meaningful impact on the lives of others.
“A dream without a plan is just a wish.”
Dreams inspire us to action. Our motivation to see our dream fulfilled, energizes us to put in the work to do it. If you have dreams that you are not willing to work for, I would argue that those are not “your dreams.” They may be dreams other people have for you or dreams you believe you should want. But they are not yours. Your dreams will inspire you to work to achieve them.
Your dream encourages you to stretch beyond yourself. There’s a quote that says:
“If your dream doesn’t scare you, then it isn’t big enough.”
Big dreams provoke us to plan how to get from here to there. The planning process requires us to honestly assess where we are currently . It also helps us to identify the additional actions needed to reach our goal.
No one accomplishes her dream on the first try. Remember dreams are much bigger than us. We must grow into them. That increase in skill, knowledge, and maturity takes time and deliberate practice.
Deliberate practice is where you do an action and get feedback on its effectiveness. You then incorporate that feedback into your revised action and reassess your results. This cycles of action-reflection-revision continues until you have reached your goal. So practice itself doesn’t make you better. If you practice doing the same mistake over and over again, you will not get better. But learning from our mistakes does make us better. This is why “failure” is actually a great teacher and critical to us accomplishing our goal.
Celebrating failure helps us to recognize and honor critical moments in our success journey. The fact that we have failed shows that we have tried something new and different. That itself should be celebrated. It means that we are stepping out of our comfort zone and adding to our knowledge and experiences.
Failure also shows that we were courageous enough to try. It is much easier and safer to stay the same than it is to grow and change. But growth and change are a part of life and whatever does not grow or change dies. There’s a saying:
“If you stop learning today, you stop teaching tomorrow.”
Lifelong learning is important to our development, regardless of our profession. Failing simply means we are learning something new. That is worthy of a celebration.
Another reason to celebrate failure is that failure helps us to learn. This is true whether we are attempting to learn a new skill, habit, or develop a character trait. If we use failure as an opportunity to reflecting on the results of our behavior, we are better able to adjust our behavior to get improved results. Teachers or coaches are useful in providing feedback on how to adjust our behavior to get better results. Yet, the teacher or coach can not give the needed feedback that without observing our failure. When we try our best and miss the mark, we learn what specifically needs to be added to our best. This knowledge should be celebrated. Thanks to failure, we are now better equipped to achieve our goal!
We often have more than one dream. And our dreams are so big that they have many new steps and skills needed to reach the goal. If we are not careful, the knowledge of how much needs to be done to reach our dreams can immobilize us. Our we can switch from one dream to another in a manner that never allows us to make sustained progress on any. Prioritization helps us to avoid these problems.
Prioritization requires us to ask ourselves:
“What is the one goal that can produce the most benefit for achieving my dream?”
Continue asking yourself this question until you’ve drilled down to a specific goal. The goal should be specific enough to begin today and focus all your attention on it. You no longer have to question whether we should be doing this action. You’ve given thought to the big picture and decided that this is the most useful focus of our time. Now, you can give yourself wholeheartedly to accomplishing this goal. This is because you know accomplishing this goal will bring you maximum benefit. It will move you closer to your larger goal. This level of focused action in needed to create forward movement on our dreams.
Brilliantly, Google X encourages the people most invested in the ideas to be the strongest critics of the project. The Moonshot employees would create a series of test designed to kill the project they’d conceived. The company would then celebrate their failed projects. Why? Because the employees showed they had courage and integrity. It takes courage to propose and moonshot idea and integrity to acknowledge it is not workable.
Too often we romanticize our dreams and are unrealistic about the challenges to them. This naivete results in surprise and discouragement when things don’t go as easily as we envisioned. Yet, by actively challenging our own ideas, we can use that information to make our ideas stronger. This is how we kill and resuscitate our dreams.
I encourage you to make a list of all the things that may go wrong and all the reasons why pursuing your dream won’t work. There is a value in listening to your inner critic. She is trying to protect you and warn you about impending danger. Too often we either ignore her insight or use her warnings as a reason not to try. But, you can use her wisdom as a trusted advisor.
Once you have a list of all the potential problems that may prevent you from accomplishing your goal. Thank your inner critic for her insight and dismiss her. Then invite your problem-solving mindset to brainstorm potential solutions to each of those problems.
For every problem, there is a solution.
By bringing a new mindset to your discussion of the problem, you are better prepared to see the solution. Your inner critic is great at seeing the problems. Thus, she is an essential part of crafting your plan for success.
Once you have brainstormed many solutions for each identified problem, you can generate your rules of order. Rules of order is simply a list of what actions you will take when (not if) the problem arrives. This exercise now takes the stress of decision making out of the situation. When the problematic situations occurs, you are well prepared with an appropriate plan of action. Your rules of order will keep you on your success journey.
Being called a dreamer is not an insult. Your dreams are the key to your individual, and our collective, success. If you connect your dreams to a concrete plan of action, learn from your failed attempts, prioritize your activities, and try to kill (then resuscitate) your dreams, you too can create the future of tomorrow today. You already have step one accomplished. What else do you need to manifest your dreams? Commit to taking that step today.
Part of giving birth to your dreams is to speak them into existence. By publicly stating your commitment and next action steps, you create both the motivation and accountability needed for your success. Use the comment box below to share with our community your courageous commitment to manifest your dreams. Taking yourself and your dreams seriously inspires others to do the same.
If there’s anything I can do to help support you in your process, please share that as well. Cheers to you and your moonshot projects!